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All other image and content © Deirdre Riordan 2004. All rights reserved.
Title: Operation: Parkinson
Author: Deirdre Riordan
HP/DM, rated R-ish.
Summary: Acting on the rumour that Draco is sleeping with Pansy Parkinson, Harry concocts a plan to sleep with Draco. But he discovers that Draco and Pansy don't have a normal relationship...
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Feedback: deirdre.riordan @ gmail. com (removes spaces)

Operation: Parkinson
by Deirdre Riordan


I could kill her. There she is again, whispering in his ear, holding his hand, acting like he belongs to her. He's not hers. He's mine, though no one knows it. He's always been mine. She doesn't deserve him. How could he go around with her? How could he sleep with her when I'm here? How could he even look at her when I'm here? It isn't fair, it isn't fucking fair. If I'd only known the day I met him. If only I'd shaken his hand. Maybe I'd be in her spot now. But it's strange just the same. He doesn't stare into her eyes like the other boyfriends do. He's the same cold ice-prince he is with everyone. He can't really love her. If I were in her place, I'd make him see nothing but me, know nothing but me.


I'm going to kill her. Professor Sprout must have acquired a sadistic streak over the summer. What's the big idea partenering me with her? Not only has she got Draco, but she's a complete moron, squealing and afraid to get her hands dirty.

"Watch it, Parkinson!" I growl, just barely saving the Venus Fly Trap we're repotting from tipping over completely.

"That was your fault, Potter!"

"It wasn't, you stupid---"

Whatever four-letter word was about to come out of my mouth is stopped by Professor Sprout's announcement that we may now begin to feed the plants. I catch a sympathetic glance from Ron, who isn't doing much better with Millicent Bulstrode. At least I could beat up Pansy if I had to. Ron wouldn't stand a chance against the Unibrow Queen.

Finally class is over. Pansy storms off, flinging her horrid stringy hair behind her, leaving me to clean up. A few pieces of her hair catch on my wristwatch. I stare at them for a second, and then pull them off and put them away. Maybe I can use them to curse her somehow.


I think I'm getting more homicidal by the minute. The seat next to Draco was taken, so what did she do? The little whore sat down in his lap!


"WHAT?" I exclaim, teeth clenched, reeling around to face Ron.

"Umm, could you pass me the butter?" He asks in a tiny voice.

Calm thyself, Potter. Just because Ron's getting laid and you're not.... "Here you go," I say, handing him the butter with a fake smile. "Sorry."

"It's okay. Um, is something wrong, mate?"

"I can't tell you that," I grind out, at least managing not to shout. And I can't. He wouldn't get it. No one would get it. Draco would get it. He's the only one here who could ever understand me.

I stomp out of the Great Hall, unable to stand the scene across the room any longer. I pass Goyle on the way out, giving him a punch in his great fat stomach without even stopping. I bet he's still wondering what--- Goyle! Of course! I was Goyle once! Polyjuice! If I can't have Draco forever, at least I can have him for one night! Oh, thank Merlin I bought this watch!


I'm not at dinner. Not as far as anyone knows, anyway. I'm by the door of the Great Hall under my cloak, waiting to follow Pansy and Draco back to Slytherin. I have to find out where her room is and how they go about meeting. I've got a month to learn their habits. This should be easy.

They pause outside a door which I assume to be Pansy's room. "Usual time tonight?" Draco asks.

She gets a pained sort of look on her face. "Draco, this once, can't we just do it normally?" she pleads.

"You know what I've told you about that," he bites out. "Do you want to continue being my girlfriend or not?" He over-stresses the word 'girlfriend.' Do it normally? Ooh, so Draco has a kinky side. I like that. I can do kinky.

Pansy just nods and goes in. I follow her. Oh god, why did I do that? She's probably going to undress! She doesn't, though. She just throws herself on her bed and cries. Wonder what's eating her? Ha! It's because Draco doesn't really love her and she knows it! He only wants her because she'll let him handcuff her or whatever. Oooh, handcuffs....

After a bit Pansy wipes her eyes and gets up. She does some spell on her face. It doesn't help much, she's still ugly as sin. But her eyes aren't red anymore. Wonder why she doesn't fix that nose of hers?

She leaves. Now's my chance to go exploring! I open a few drawers. Girly makeup stuff, shirts, jumpers, ewwwwwww, underwear! No handcuffs, though. Maybe Draco brings them. I open the wardrobe. Robes, shoes, boring.... oooh, what's this on the shelf? It's a huge bottle. I read the label. 'Polyjuice: Extended Release.' Oh wonder of wonders! I can do this sooner than I thought! What's she doing with all that anyway? Probably evil Slytherin things. It's probably standard equipment or something. I don't even have to make my own Polyjuice! And extended release! Hours and hours of fun with Draco! Oh, Pansy Parkinson, I think I love you. Ew, no I don't. I can do this tomorrow! All I have to do is petrify her and put her somewhere safe. Easy as Malfoy pie. All I have to do is stick around so I can find out what time Draco comes.

--10 p.m.--
Pansy returns.

--10:05 p.m.--
Pansy cries more.

--10:20 p.m.--
Pansy does spell-thing on face.

--10:25 p.m.--
Pansy opens wardrobe and stands in front of it. Starts to reach for something, pulls her hand back. Sighs and sits down in front of the wardrobe.

--10:30 p.m.--
Knock on door.

"I'm not ready yet, give me ten minutes!" Pansy calls. Making him wait. What a bitch.

Draco bursts through the door. "You're not even dressed!"

She starts to blubber about something and I take this opportunity to make my exit. I don't want to see the rest of this. That can wait till tomorrow night. Ugh, I can't believe I have to be her of all people. I wonder what it's going to be like getting fucked as a girl? Well, he's kinky, maybe I can get him to do me up the arse. Do I get to keep my prostate?

--Next day, 5:30 p.m.--

I get Dobby to make me something in the kitchen. I have a feeling I'm going to need my energy tonight. Good, I've got just enough time to get a shower before dinner actually starts.

--6:00 p.m.--

Okay, fresh and clean now. Draco may be getting Pansy tonight, but he's going to be getting a Pansy who wears Harry Potter's cologne. Maybe that'll put an idea in his head. Subconscious association of my cologne with ecstasy. I think I read about something like that in one of Hermione's muggle psychology books anyway.

After dinner I follow Draco and Pansy back. Same ritual at the door, except Pansy doesn't complain this time. Apparently the crying is an after-dinner ritual as well. I take advantage of her face-down position on the bed to put a body bind on her. Hmm, better put her to sleep too. And a nice little Obliviate never hurt anyone. She won't have a clue. Great, now what do I do with her? I guess under the bed's good enough. Cover her with the invisibility cloak. Perfect.

--8:00 p.m.--
Two and a half hours to go. God, I'm bored. And sleepy too. I should have brought my homework. But I can't risk leaving. I've got time to take a little nap....

--10:15 p.m.--
Shite. I didn't mean to sleep that long. Ugh, my breath reeks. Nice little cleaning spell should do the trick for that. Okay, that's better. At least I still smell good. Gotta love wizarding cologne.

A knock on the door. FUCK! He's early! No, wait! No ticking. My watch stopped. Poxy watch, this is all your fault! Never buying anything Muggle again! Fuck! What do I do? He's going to find me here! Bathroom! That'll buy me some time. I'm heading for it when Draco bursts through the door, looking angry.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

But he doesn't curse me. He actually smiles when he sees me. What the hell is going on here?

"Good, you're ready," he says, coming over and putting his arms around my shoulders. Ready?? "Mmm, you've really outdone yourself this time, you even smell just like Harry."

"But I am Harry."

"Of course you are, love," he says, biting my neck gently.

Suddenly it all comes together. The huge store of Polyjuice, Pansy's weeping fits.... this is the kinky thing Draco's into! All along he's been doing Pansy, Polyjuiced into ME! I almost squeal with joy. He's wanted me all along! Parkinson, I have but two words for you: Boo. Ya. Ha-ha-haaaaa! Shit. Do I tell him? No. Let it be for now. I'll tell him after I give him the most mind-blowing fuck of his life. Thank you, Seamus, for the practice. This is the real thing now.


© 2003-2004 by Deirdre Riordan. Contact me at deirdre.riordan @ (remove spaces).

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La Découverte ou L'Ignorance

Coming Around
Operation: Parkinson
Wanna Touch

Far From Innocent
An Accident of Birth